经典英语幽默笑话故事小短文一

question and answer

q: why do they say 'amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'awomen'?

a: the same reason they sing hymns instead of hers!

q: why didn't noah go fishing?

a: he only had two worms!

q: when was the longest day in the bible?

a: the day adam was created because there was no eve.

q: why did god create manbefore woman?

a: he didn't want any advice.

q: what do you call a sleepwalking nun?

a: a roamin' catholic!

doctor: 'your recovery was a miracle!'

patient: 'praise god. now i don't have to pay you!'

q: why did moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

a: even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

经典英语幽默笑话故事小短文二

q: what's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

a: a monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小.但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子.这个答案很有意思吧?

q: how can you most irritate a farmer?

a: by treading on his corn?

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定会生气的;而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼,他会更生气.corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意思.

q: which is the strongest creature in the world?

a: the snail. it carries its house on its back.

因为snail(蜗牛)的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的.你说呢?

q: what do people do in a clock factory?

a: they make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面.

q: how do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

a: keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉.虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了.

经典英语幽默笑话故事小短文三

what is god's name?

a christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. when he got to the gates of heaven he met an angel. the angel asked him what god's name was.

'oh that's easy,' the man replied, 'his name is andy.'

'what make you think his name is andy?' the angel asked incredulously.

'well, you see at church we used to sing this song 'andy walks with me, andy talks with me.'

经典英语幽默笑话故事小短文四

he is really somebody

他真是一个大人物

-- my uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- he is really somebody. what does he do?

-- a maintenance man in a cemetery.

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人.

-- 他真是一个大人物.干什么的?

-- 墓地守墓人.

经典英语幽默笑话故事小短文五

animals go to heaven

a cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to heaven. at the top they met god and he asked them 'how do you like it so far?' the mouse replied 'it's great, but can i get a pair of roller skates?' god said 'sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates. the next day god saw the cat and asked him 'how do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'great, i didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'

经典英语幽默笑话故事小短文六

它们是从美国直接带来的

not long after an old chinese woman came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the states, she went to a city bank to deposit the us dollars her daughter gave her. at the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. it made the old lady out of patience.

at last she could not hold any more, uttering. "trust me, sir, and trust the money. they are real us dollars. they are directly from america."

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假.

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的.”