英语笑话故事一： the mean man's party 吝啬鬼的聚会

the notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. when the door open, push with your foot."

"why use my elbow and foot?"

"well, gosh," was the reply, "you're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

英语笑话故事二：visual training 视力训练

the squad were having "visual training". one smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatinglythe recruit replied：

"sixteen men and a sergeant , sir."

"right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"

"he's not doing any digging, sir."

班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。

“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。”

“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士?”

“他不干活，长官。”