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"Pull over" or "pull-over"
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Coming up beside her, he said, "Pull over!"
"No," she replied, "a pair of socks!"

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Single man at the superm
A young man went shopping. He bought a small can of corn, a small can of tuna(金枪鱼）, a small jar of mayo（蛋黄酱）, a small lemon and a very small box of teabags. When he came to the counter the girl at the cashregister smiled at him and said; "Dearest, You must be single."
"Why, do You mean because I buy so little food?"
"No, because You′re so goddamn ugly..."

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A deleted file
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

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Diplomatic way
A man enters a restaurant, takes a seat, and, instead of using the napkin, takes the table cloth from the table and tucks it around his neck.
The head waiter sees it and tells the waiter to go and tell him, in a diplomatic way, that what he did was incorrect.
The waiter goes to the man and says, "Good day to you Sir.. Would you like a shave or a haircut?".

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Women talk more than men
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
He said, "What?"

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More polite
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.
The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was the more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

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