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A special football match
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Brack, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.

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Charming Ending
Young Lady: " Your novel has a charming ending."
Author: " What do you think of the opening chapters?"
Young Lady: " I have not got to them yet!"

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Essay
Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."

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Broken engagement
The soldier was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "Regret cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."

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Distance from the accident
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six and one half inches".
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?", asked the judge.
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.

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